Tom Keith and the “Bro Code”
On Monday, October 7th, UNC’s Parr Center for Ethics presented guest speaker Tom Keith, who gave a lecture titled “How Patriarchy in the Form of Bro Culture Harms Women AND Men.” Keith currently teaches Gender Studies and Philosophy at California State Polytechnic University, Pomona, and Claremont Graduate University. In addition, Keith is also a filmmaker and author. His most recent film is “The Empathy Gap: Masculinity and the Courage to Change,” and his most recent book is “Masculinities in Contemporary American Culture: An Intersectional Approach to the Complexities and Challenges of Male Identity.”
Keith began his lecture by outlining the four pillars of toxic masculinity: sexually objectifying women, homophobia, emotional stoicism, and using intimidation or violence to resolve conflict. Then, he posited the question, why are all school shooters, with one exception, men? The media frequently asserts that these young men must be mentally ill, suffering from familial trauma, bullying, or were influenced by gun culture in video games and movies. The way that masculinity is discussed in popular media further permits boys and men to get away with violent behavior by promoting the idea that men are biologically pre-dispositioned to commit violent acts at a higher frequency than women. This, clearly, is not true as testosterone has no correlation to violence and the violent behavior men exhibit is actually a result of their socialization within their environment rather than something in their biology.
Keith went on to briefly explain how toxic masculinity harms women, which many of the lecture attendees were already aware of. He focused on how sexual harassment and violence disproportionately effects working class women in male dominated fields such as construction and other manual labor, STEM, and medicine. An alarming statistic showed that the number one cause of injury to men is a car accident, while to women is domestic violence.
In terms of harm to men, Keith shared some surprising statistics including that men are incarcerated eleven times more than women, and get DUIs twice as often as women. Additionally, because of the negligent “be a man” attitude towards PTSD, depression, and other mental illnesses, men commit suicide four times as much as women, though women attempt suicide twice as often.
In response to the #MeToo movement, many men reacted with hostility and apathy towards the platform. As an example, Keith reminded the audience that President Trump has nineteen sexual assault allegations against him with no repercussions. When presented with the “what if it was your daughter/mother” argument, many reply with “it’s not my daughter/mother” which further exemplifies the way men continue to view women as something that only has value in her relation to a man rather than simply as a person deserving basic respect. Keith then posed the question: Why do men continuously make excuses for this abusive behavior as bystanders or proponents of toxic masculinity?
Keith’s theory had to do with what he called the “empathy gap.” This is characterized by men’s inability to empathize with women because they fail to see women as equals in a full and authentic way. When men fail to see the obstacles women must work against, legislation that aims to improve equality for women makes men feel as though their rights and privileges are threatened. Keith likened this to white fragility in which equality begins to feel like inequality for white individuals.
Finally, after a quick question and answer portion, Keith left the audience with his advice for how men can begin to work against toxic masculinity in their daily lives. He suggested starting with the language you use around both men and women. Crucially, when you hear a misogynistic comment, call it out and hold yourself and other men accountable.
